Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
kristin has been a bad kristin
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
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Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
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Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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