I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
