WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
