we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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