just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish i was in the wii world.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
