So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
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Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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