you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
