My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
then he tried to convert me to islam
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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