babies were throwing up all over the place
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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