Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
