last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
soo... how was my night?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
