drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize