Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
