absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
