Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
