Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
