Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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