member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
