Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
