Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
