I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
