Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
