The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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