I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
