I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
