My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
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