She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
