i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
