when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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