Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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