Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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