Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
