why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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