it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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