it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
