new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
