This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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