Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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