Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
