if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
