That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Every concussion has its silver lining
Found the puke drawer
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
