You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
