If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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