i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
