matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
