i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Quick, to the slutcave!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
