dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
