Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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