The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
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I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i out mim tonsoeep
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