Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
