Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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