omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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