Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
