fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you guys were way drunker than both of me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
