I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
